Imported From Epistula Personal

My Night Out

Once upon a time a geek had a crush on a princess, but it didn’t work out, and he resolved it and attempted to remain friends. In the heat of the discovery that he had money again (See Previous), he decided that since it was three months since he saw her, it would be an ideal time to text-message her and catch up. The responce was she was “dandy” and to “come to the Sussex tonight“. And so, at 20:30, Aquarion went into the Sussex Arms. Top to tail in black, big leather coat, Works.

For the next several hours, he caught up with Kate, who he hadn’t seen for three months, and Jenny, who he hadn’t seen for two years. This was Fun. There will be a Gathering Soon. Promise 🙂

At 11 O’Clock, Jenny drove Aquarion to the station so he could catch his (10 past 11) final train, Which he did, but only due to a helpful driver waiting a second at a helpful guard’s shout that I was helpfully running across the footbridge as fast as my little legs could carry me.

In the train there were already some people. Mainly, for the purposes of this, a group of four archtypical Lads On A Night Out. One was sober, two were mildly drunk, the largest was pissed out of his skull. They roughed. They Tumbled, They were Very Loud. Careful listening in to the conversation (I didn’t get much choice) revealeed them to be called “Goose” (The large, drunk one), “Weller” (Blonde, thin one), “Jones” (Short, Muscled one), and “Smith” (Whose name I didn’t catch. The quiet, sober one). As we paused outside Tonbridge Station, where I was due to get off, Goose decided it was time to release the alchol from his system in the traditional manner.

Connex Southeast have recently introduced some new trains to the area. These don’t have toilets. Were were, obviously, in one of the new ones. Goose left to try and find a toilet, the others watched though the window. From what I could gather from the noises they made, he then proceeded to piss against the inside of the door of the next cariadge. As he finished, the doors opened, and I got out of my carrage, and hoped never to ever see any of them again

I walked very fast across the footbridge, was mildly put out that my train wouldn’t be there for another 25 minutes, and sat down on a bench towards the far end of the platform – as is my habit – to watch the station cat (which is coloured ginger, and called Ginger) and to compose a diary entry.

About five minutes later, the quarreling quartet sat down beside me, Goose sprawled over a whole bench, and Smith next to me. The benches, for future referance, look like this:

	|  |  |
	|A |B |
	|  |  |
	|  |  |
	|C |D |
	|  |  |

Me and Smith are on bench C, Goose is sprawled on A, B contains a couple (The female of which – I was informed later – was wearing a skirt that was really, *really* short. They sat down after me, so I didn’t notice. This has a baring on what happens next). Jones & Weller then wander off to do something, possibly find a toilet, whilst Goose proclaims at the top of his (very loud) voice how “Utter Shit” the gig they just went to was, and Smith admits that Goose is intitled to his opinion, but in his own (Smith’s) the band were, in fact, “Shit Hot”. This went on for a while, During which a balding man came over to speak to the pretty girl in the Very Short Dress. He is now sitting on B.

Meanwhile, Eventually, Weller and Jones come back and sit either side of Goose on A. Roughness insures. So does Tumbleness. And much shouting of “It’s All Good (In The Hood)”. I gather that they are going to Ashford (a few stops down the line), that Smith isn’t drunk and has a good sense of humour, and that Goose *is* drunk and is also thick as shit. Oh, and that Jones is a semi-pro boxer.

The Man on B, who we shall call “Jeff”, because I think I overheard this as his name, is gradually geting irritated at the noise. Makes comments like “Keep it in the common room”. Loud enough for me to hear, but too quiet to penertrate the play-fight on bench A. Eventually – and this has been going on for just under 20 mins now, so we have five before the train – Jeff screws up his ball of fish & chip wrapping, and throws it behind him. IE, directly at the people on bench A.

They object. Crys of “Why did you throw your chip packet at us” ring out, Weller and Jones walk around to Jeff and ask, in terms of menace. This shouting continues until Jeff explains that he finds it ‘irritating that people your age act as if they are something special’ (God forbid people are allowed to *enjoy* their youth. The whole gang are – I’d guess – about 19 to early 20s, whilst Jeff is about 30ish. I’m crap at ages, I really am.

Anyway, This results in Jones calling Jeff a “Fat Prick”, whereupon Jeff loses his temper and grabs Jones and pushes him across the platform (Away from the tracks, I might add), The argument now at defcon 3, some random people intervene and the argument moves to the platform (On the diagram they would be clustered about an inch above B) Smith and Goose are involved now, Remaining mostly neutral in the arguing whilst Weller and (mostly) Jones shout. A big (6’7’ish, wide, heavy-type) bloke is seperating them, and Jeff asks “Would you call *him* a fat prick?” and, really, I can see his point. At this point the argument falls from the shaky ground of “we were making noise” to the much simpler “He chucked stuff at us” whilst the big bloke and his friend try to mediate.

This going on, I quitely pick up half of the missile that started the explosion. Goose notices, however, and encourages me to join in on the Right Side. My reponse, obviously, is “No Fucking Way”, and can you blame me? Before I can get to the second, however, Weller picks it up the other half of the packet, and throws it at Jeff. This appears to end the argument for most of them, and it disolves into the “Have we done shit to you?” quiet “Admit we are right, damnit” bits, apart from Jones (The Boxer, remember), who still wanted a fight. Fortunatly the train arrived at that point, and careful choreography by me, the big bloke and Jeff meant that there was someone between Jeff and Jones at all points, not so as it looked obvious, however.

We all got in the train. I met someone I hadn’t seen for ages, and we swapped pasts. The Quartet filed past me at one point towards Jeff, but shortly afterwards Me, Jeff, My Friend, and the girl with the Very Short Skirt all got off at Paddock Wood, whilst The Quartet carried on the train. Jeff looked shaken, but not bruised.

And we all lived happily ever after

I really hate last trains. Really. And Connex.

Imported From Epistula Personal

Breaking Fast

Listening to BT Playlist. All Breakfast At Tiffanys covers, All of the time 🙂

Okay, Yes, it’s one of my favourite songs ever. Sosueme 🙂

An entertaining day spent hacking other people’s code to create the new gallery (A fusion of PHP, Perl, and strong background colours. Neatocool) followed by a trip to the bank in order to sort out my life slightly.

Basically, the bank wanted to take away my overdraft, and I would prefer that not to happen, since that would put me so deep into the brown stuff that it may take me a serious amount of time to get out. So I talked it though with them, and they agreed, and I shifted some money from deepestly deep emergancy savings accounts, and can now afford to exist, if not to go down to places like Bath.

Although I’m working on that.

Lonecat has been joining clubs, and that has brought to the forefront of my mind my truely pathetic RL social life in the local area. So I sent an SMS out to an old friend, and now I’m going out for a drink tonight.

Okay, so it’s someone that has fucked up my life a couple of times before, but I have a girlfriend now, and I’m quite a bit more stable. I think I can get though this evening without a breakdown. If I can, that bodes well for the future.

I went into Game today. And HMV. And Globe (a Gadget-type-shop). And a Bookshop with *all* the Sandman books, and I *still* have my money. And that was even *before* I knew I was going out, This “Self Will” thing seems to be growing. Maybe it’s catching from Lonecat in the same way she keeps comitting puns…

This influance thing seems to be going both ways 🙂

Ah, yes, Things to add to Klide: A Spelling Checker

But dinner calls, so I must away and go forth. TTFN, jellybeans.

Imported From Epistula Personal

Random Pictures

I think I’m going random again. From my Audiogalaxy Download List:
Vision On - Theme
wurzels - the combine harvester
paul mccartney - tomorrow
savage garden - two beds and a coffee machine

Scary, isn’t it?
Primary reason for this update is a point and prod to a new section of the site, the Aquarionics Gallery. Go see 🙂

Imported From Epistula Personal

Smoke and Mirrors

Chris Naden Wrote:
>My house burnt down last week, btw,


Scary thoughts. The place where me & Lonecat actually started on the path that led us where we are today, and not to mention the complete destruction of everything a friend of a friend owns, and the house of a friend.

Scary scary thoughts.

‘s been over a decade since the kitchen caught fire now, I think, almost to the month. I don’t remember much about the event – it involved staying with grandparents for a few days starting about three minutes after the fire was out – but it’s still mentioned somewhere in the house every so often. Fire Bad.

Waiting for the meltdown. FFS! I’m not *doing* anything. I have work, I have an aim for money (Yes, LC, I *will* come see you), and I have all the reason in the world for working. So why can’t I get started? ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Imported From Epistula Personal

Hit, Miss, Maybe

The impossible database seems to be a hit, to a degree that is scaring me. I’ve just rewritten the cliques system to make it a bit more user-manageable, and some of the stuff I’ve learnt is going into the development snapshot of Klind. Bugs applenty, including the most silly one, which occoured when I searched the entire code, and completely missed where I had capitalised a variable. Argh.

Also in geekland this week, I upgraded my server to run Kernel 2.4.9, complete with iptables, USB support and SCSI emulation so I could get my USB camera and Zip Drives working. This has taken me almost a month now, on an occasional basis, because every time I compiled it, I got an INIT error. Which was because I had set it to compile for the wrong chip set.

So it worked, it comipled, and it was running just long enough for me to realise the server doesn’t *have* USB ports before I threw the thing accross the room

I’m missing Lonecat. She’s on IRC right now, but this has been the only weekend for a long time that I haven’t seen her. She appears to be having fun in Bath, and I wish I could go visit her, Argh my life sucks.

And Maybe? Maybe I’m screwed. I have to go see my bank manager about having my overdraft taken away. Bad Thing

Imported From Epistula Personal


Hullo, oh long suffering peoples. See? I do update occasionally.

Lonecat has gone to Bath. This is Bad, Sad and other words ending in ad. Nevermind, In Bath she’ll get a clean start…


So I’ve been working, hard, at the stuff I’m being paid for, and even harder at impossible databases that I won’t get paid for, except in the sence that people might look at and say “That bloke’s a Genius! Hire Him!” which is, frankly, unlikly. So nothing is happening. I’ve passed my diploma, and am now on the “What the fuck do I do now?” cycle. Because I don’t know. I have this database to finish, I have a couple of websites to design. Should I remain freelance? Should I sell my soul to a corperation? Should I go back into training to become more qualified? Can I afford to do the last one? Can I afford to do the *first* one?

So I do nothing instead. That seems easier.

Imported From Epistula Personal



Klind’s Excessivly Wonderful Links System has had an upgrade. The main result of this is the little box on the right hand side. If you have a link you think we would like, put it in there, and it will go into the database. A message will be sent to me, and if I agree it goes into the Cool section.

This is nice, wonderful, and is part of the Great And Wonderful Interactification Of Aquarionics. For more stuff, Watch this space

Email email seems to be having a few problems ATM. The Server Admin is working on it, and suspects it’s at least partly due to the NIMDA worm that is currently crippling the internet. Arn’t security holes wonderful? Damn Microsoft and all their crackpot systems. Including the one I’m working on 🙂

Other Stuff

Lonecat 2.0 is live, Go see 🙂

In other Other News, LC moves to Bath tomorrow. Yay of much negitive yayness.

Imported From Epistula Personal

Dead in the water

The server that Aquarionics 2 was on is dead.


It has ceased to be.

It is pining for the fjords, and has gone to the land where servers are eternally blessed.

Pennyhost, who used to host it, have deleted it and all it’s files.

Including the bits I couldn’t rescue before the account failed 🙁

Thirty days notice ain’t what it used to be.

Imported From Epistula Personal

Broke it

Okay, so I broke the entire site. Behold Nick, King of Morons. May all lesser morons bow before me. I tried to take a backup, and ended up turning all the files into *.php.gz files. I reversed that this morning with the command “gunzip -r *”. but that doesn’t stop me feeling very silly indeed.

So the better news, then

A letter came fluttering though the letterbox this morning. Nearly got attacked by the dog, was picked up by my mother and carried to the pit where I lay sleeping away my life in a depressive type way

The letter bore the crest of the University of Sunderland, and was therefore bad by definition, and a letter to be scared of, to fear, to cower before and avoid the treatement thereof.

Anyone who wonders why this could be the case need only view my entry of the 7th, where I explain the history of my eduction.

It was with all due respect, therefore, that I carefully opened the C4 Envelope before me (Envelopes come in C sizes, which is slightly bigger than the corrisponding A size. So a C4 envelope holds A4 content. Why they didn’t just use a DL (long and thin) envelope, I’m not sure. Anyway, I’m digressing again). This enevlope contained a single piece of A4 Paper (see? Told you) which said unto me:

Results for the academic year 2000/2001 for 99292781s

Ie, Me.
I’ll ignore most of it, because you already know it if you’ve been following the story so far (July 10th, July 25th, I submitted the essay 28/8/01, Sept 7th) And…

Database Systems Design: Pass

I’ve passed.

I’ve fucking passed

Oh yay. Oh double yay. Oh…

Very yay

Imported From Epistula Personal


I’ve had an amazing weekend. I’ve had a driving lesson today. I can’t actually say anything useful right now, so I’m going to write something randomly. Kay?

Good morning.

Good morning.

I’d like to buy a parrot.

Certianly sir. Any particler breed?

Do you have a Norwegian Blue?

Yes, sir. Just came in this morning.

I’d imagine it’s arms are tired, what?

Yes sir. Very droll, sir.

Lovely feathers

Plumage, sir.

Is it? I’d say it’s more scarlet than plum.

Yes sir.

How much would this cost me?

There is a price tag upon the bird, sir.

I can see that, my man, I asked how much it would cost me.

As it says upon the aformentioned tag. Sir.