I do not have a hot water storage system. Instead, my flat has a magic box that, if I turn the hot water on, will heat the water that goes though it and send that off to the tap. The water has to be coming out of the tap at a certain rate for this to work, so for the first quarter turn or so the water is cold, then the heater kicks in and it is suddenly very hot indeed. This is point one.

The cold water in my flat works at a pressure that would cause the turbines at Niagara Falls to give up and go home. One quarter turn is enough for a raging torrent.

If I turn the hot water in the shower to the point where is isn’t cold, and then turn the cold water on to the point where it isn’t scalding hot, the combined pressure in the shower head is enough to escape the rubber seal. Hopefully not in a place where it will form a graceful parabolic arc onto my laundry, towel or clothes.

After about ten minutes of hot water, the pressure in the hot water system drops though the floor and I have to turn up the hot water again and refind the balance. After leaping out of the shower screaming blue murder as my nice hot shower suddenly goes ice-cold. Every so often the cold water drops out, which is worse.

This sounds like a wonderful metaphor for something or other, but I can’t decide what.