epistula Imported From Epistula

Watching You

Okay, so the referer tracking stuff is now in, along with an implimentation of Phil’s suggestion of a most popular list (currently only doing Journal entries, the more generic version will be a little more complicated). It also outputs as an RSS/ESF feed, which is my solution to the output problem (Generic tag based output is complicated, so I prefer to tell people to grab the internally generated RSS/ESF feed and process it instead) (Not that I tell people anything, being the only person running Epistula).

So, you can click the “Refererals” button below each post for logs of how people got to it, and in addition each post tracks people going to it and crossreferences sites and searches that lead to it. The benifits of one-page-per-post archives. Also, each entry now links to the day, month and year archive it resides in via the date, and I’m now able to delete comments. Go Me.

I’ve also finished 75% of the project I was going to finish today, the rest is background processing whilst I do all this lot, so I’ll have a blinding flash of inspiration over dinner of how I’m going to leap the next hurdle.

So basically, I’ve been high on PHP for most of the day.

Yay me

Imported From Epistula Metablog

Performance Art

Today is apparently Perfomance Art day in the Neighbourhood. Mike has a whole load of links to people taking part, saving me the effort.

For my part, I’ve decided to read the thing that I enjoyed most this week into a microphone. It’s David Salo’s Cave Linguistica, and it’s in the attachment below.

I should point out that that MP3 is about seven minutes long, and 3mb in size

Imported From Epistula Personal

Today I

Today I…

  • Awoke at 6:30, when a doorbell went off in my dream, causing me to leap up and find dressing-gown and go downstairs.
  • Had the floorboards collapse when I stepped into the shower
  • Still haven’t had my first cup of tea
  • Sat down to wait for a print-out to finish. Heard it finish, and then left. Without the print-out.
  • Considered organising a UKBlog Meet.
  • Noted that I should really sort out my own life before I try to affect anyone elses
  • Am going to get a hair-cut.


epistula Imported From Epistula Metablog


So, Once more I’ve returned to the fictional town of Paddock Wood. I was born within five miles of here, I lived here for twenty years – give or take, what with large amounts of time in Sunderland and the last year in Cambridge, and I’m damned if I’m going to die here.

Why is it fictional? Because it never changes. In the year since I went to Cambridge, the gravel in the back garden has grown two feet into the lawn, and the signs on the Natwest in town have been painted red. And it’s always been thus. In the years I spend away, nothing changes. If I come back for a week, they’ll redo the entire town-centre.

With any luck I’ll be in Reading within the fortnight too.

Simon’s site search thing inspired me to do almost exactly the same thing with Aqcom/Epistula, the search link above (Replacing the FAQ link which wasn’t useful) works using the MySQL FullText stuff, and is whole phrase only until I can find a decent excuse for trying for MySQL 4. The related discussion on Simon’s site that wandered into the realms of Vector Placement Searching is also interesting, and something that I’m considering for [E]3, The Great Rewrite, which will work with Epistula itself being a daemon that sits and serves XML files to a waiting front-end client. This will make it easy to do the heavy data-processing stuff that perl does so much better than PHP, leaving me able to write an interface in PHP (Which I feel works better for the web-facing stuff). The daemon will probably end up being in perl, but I could see Python or C being options for it.

Of course, if I did it in Python I’d have to learn Python, and also provide the ability to import Vellum plugins to it.

What else is around? Oh, yes. The new Six Apart venture of TypePad, a hosted Moveable Type platform (which was mentioned in The Guardian) at around the same time as Dean announces the Textpattern platform, TextBox (Which was not mentioned in the Guardian). May the best system win, and soon Stuart will be announcing Hardback, the new Vellum hosted platform; and Aquarionic Industries will announce Epistulation, the new Epistula Powered hosting platform, sponsered by Snackispores, which will also not be mentioned in the Guardian.

Imported From Epistula Personal

Sweet merciful fuck

No, the previous post does not mean I’m splitting up with LoneCat. I’m not. That poem was written at least a year before me and her got together, and was posted to the Creative Writing section of the site.

People reading via LJ are apologised to, since they can’t even see the categories. People reading by RSS should be reading via something that supports categories and slash:section.


Okay, what happened: After I posted the entry below (which is the poem Game Over) people assumed it was a real thing. This would be the differance between Articles, Journal and Writing, for those who were asking last week. Everything in Writings is fictional, which is why it is there and not in Articles or the Journal. This would be one of the problems with the great “Realism in Blogs” debate.

Anyhue, People lept to the conclusion that it was real, and it isn’t, and people sent me emails and messages of condolance, and it still isn’t real. Livejournal doesn’t carry the difference between Journal and Writings, and they wouldn’t have got Cathy’s comment that prompted me to repost the lymerick based poem. RSS 0.9 feeds now contain the posting section as part of the title, which is inelegant, but will stop this happening again.

Once again, Yeash.

Imported From Epistula Poems

Game Over

You wanted lymericks?…

Game Over.

I’ve had enough. In fact, I’m though.
Relationship over, for you.
My life is a falsehood.
Your promises no good.
I told her, Game over, we’re though.

It started, god is it a year?
It always seemed less than that here,

The valentines meal.
Confessed how I feel.
Stars above, Confess love, never fear.

I never expected replys,
I expected a fobbing with lies
With no second date.
resigned to my fate.
To be lonely, with only goodbyes.

And thus was the courtship begun,
The jokes and the games and the fun.
The bright summer fair,
just you and I there.
And suprises and prizes I won.

And then we proceed to last week.
When somone decided to speak.
And tell me the girl

put me in a swirl
Was seen – and obscene – with James Deek.

I never could tell her I knew.
My heart now just shattered in two.
So I just said it streight:
It’s not love now, It’s hate.
And the tears, and the fears, followed though.

I still cannot possibly see,

how I thought that that girl could love me.
Her top social classes
Me with geek-like glasses
Couldn’t last. Didn’t pass. Couldn’t be.

And so I am back to square one.
As if I had never begun.
Stuck all alone,
Back in single zone.
Never care. Isn’t fair. Antifun.

aqcom Imported From Epistula

Very Diffick

Trying to out-do Nick Boalch
Now has search logging.

On top of this fact
I seem to have contracted
Mark’s haiku meme.

It’s an odd diesese
It’t caught ‘bel and Vaughan as well.
It’s also scary.

But should not haiku
contain a reference to
The turning seasons?

And once outside here
Was a Cherry Blossom tree.
But alas no more.

The Haiku post ends
A lowly coder Submits
The world sees his words.

Imported From Epistula Personal

About 2003


Aquarion is a coder/designer/writer living somewhere in England ( Cambridge Reading Letchworth, currently. This changes on a yearly basis). He is in his early twenties (Twenty two three, in fact) and an Aquarius.

His birthday has been on the 26th January every year so far.

He works as a PHP/SQL developer for BrowserAngel, is attached to the wonderful lonecat, and has an affinity for the colour blue. He is most famous for writing the ESF spec, being in “Why Don’t You…?” on BBC TV, or writing strange articles for the newsgroup Alt.Fan.Pratchett. In his spare time he writes things to put things into databases and take them out again.


Aquarionics is mostly written and designed on Maelstrom, an Athlon 2000XP box which duel boots Win2k with Gentoo linux runs Windows XP. It’s tested on, and connected though, reef, a Celeron 333 atoll, another Athlon running Debian Linux and being a news server, web server, db server, mail server and workhorse.

The site is hosted on Sneaky, which sits running Gentoo Linux and is hosted by pol.


Aquarionics is powered by Epistula, Aquarion’s weblog and site management system built upon PHP, MySQL, and Coffee. It does everything except make the tea, and will one day rule the world.

The rest of Aquarion’s life is powered mostly by Nomical, a Personal Organisation Thingy. Since it will currently accept people into it, but not display them or do anything else at all, Aquarion is permenantly disorganised. Aquarion’s life is now run by a Moleskine diary, on the basis that Nomical clearly wasn’t working

When the amount of deletions and additions on this page reaches critical mass, he’ll probably rewrite it again +get someone else to rewrite it again+

aqcom Imported From Epistula intertwingularity

New Toy

Data is fun.

One of the nicest things you can do to a programmer like me is give him (or her) a pile of data in a nice format that is easily extractable, and tell him (or her) to go have fun.

Last night, after a couple of weeks of looking at it, pol installed mod_log_sql which is an Apache module that makes all access logs become a mysql database, so a list of referers becomes simply “select count(referer) as referals, referer from table group by referer order by referals desc”. Hit counters become easy, life becomes good, and I get to do all the automatic “This is popular, if you like $foo, go see $bar” stuff without parseing text files! Woot, and indeed, yay.

Imported From Epistula

Gets Worse

Right, The Story So Far:

Aquarion moved out of Cambridge, looking at a flat in Reading. Flat in Reading was found, applied for and first part of deposit (£250) was paid as an Admin Fee. Aquarion stays with pol & Supermouse while references are found, this should only take a week.

A week later references are returned, and ours are bad due to reasons I don’t explain. Letting Agents will only accept the application if my parents are also responsible for the rent. Shit happens, stuff resolved, We have to open a joint bank account.

I can’t.

I can’t because in order to open an account, I need photo ID, which I don’t have. My passport is lost, my Driving licence both provisional and non-photoed, and I have no other ID save my Birth Certificate (Only acceptable for under 20 y/o, an arbitary decision which annoys me) is in storage somewhere between Reading & Kent, and all the forms I do have (Such as a letter from my existing bank – who can’t give me the account for more Reasons) arn’t accepted because they arn’t on their little black and yellow form of What The FSA Accept.

So I can’t get the account, so I can’t sign the contract, so I can’t move in, so I can’t get a permenant address in Reading, so I can’t convince the job-agencies I don’t live in Cambridge, so I can’t get a job.

Meanwhile, I’ve stayed longer with Pol & Supermouse than I intended, and am now going to go home for a while.

LC, meanwhile, may need to live within commuting distance of Northampton if she gets the job she interviewed for, which will really stuff things up. Anyway, the upshot of all this is that we will probably be abandoning the flat we reserved in Reading, and looking for a private Landlord who won’t be quite so difficult.

So if any Reading people have the website of a local paper (Or a copy of the local paper they can post to me), I’d be grateful.

Real life sucks.