My back garden is a veritable feast of campanology now. Some mean, cruel and nasty person has attached a bell to one of the cats which wanders around, I watched it yesterday attempting to pounce on raindrops (Preferably without getting wet) and every stealthy step it took was accompanied by the jingling of bells. It was not a happy kitty.

Yesterday was not just a bad day for cats, in fact. It’s a long running in-joke that either me or LoneCat can be employed at any one time, and so it’s only logical that with BrowserAngel putting me on notice that they have a new grant and will be reemploying me forthwith, LoneCat has been placed on her mandatory 3 month notice of redundancy.

Not that this has stopped me applying for other jobs, I point out. Optimism is for people with savings accounts.

On top of all this, I went head over handlebars yesterday when a fuckwitted moron decided that cyclists didn’t deserve roundabouts and pulled out in front of me. My immediate reaction was to slam on the brakes, but since my right hand brake is the front brake (And I’m right handed) this didn’t have the desired effect, as whilst much of my forward momentum was curtailed, it transferred into a graceful arc around the radius of my stationary front wheel, depositing me nose to tarmac. Shortly afterwards my rucksack, which happened to be full of library books due to be returned, continued to follow its own interpretation of the laws of momentum and comedy to hit me in the back of the head.

The car behind me was tolerance itself, waiting almost two seconds after the crash before it beeped for me to get out of the way, whereupon I dragged my bruised – but otherwise unharmed – self and my unscathed cycle to the side of the road where I waited until I had stopped shaking sufficiently to go and be patronised by the Job Centre.

And the causing car? Drove off without even noticing me.

All motorists should be forced to cycle on main roads for at least two weeks every few years.