Imported From Epistula Personal

Old Entries

Everything below this entry was rescued from the old Aquarionics Site.
One day I might go though modifying all the titles from “Untitled Entry” to something more relivant, but until then, Sorry 🙂

Imported From Epistula Personal


Okay, I have the essay for passing my HND, and it doesn’t look too difficult (Famous last words? I hope not), So I’m putting it off as ever 🙂

How am I doing? Not too bad, On the more stable plane of existance, with nothing much changing. Pennyhost still suck lotsly, I’m still looking at moving servers, and flats, and everything else I want to shift somewhere else.

Techiewise (And Lonecat? IANAG) I am happy, because with Amy and Ccooke‘s assistance I now have a working Debian box as a gateway on the network, Which means the great Aquarionics3 Vapourware project is in full swing 🙂

Oh, and people are trying to matchmake me. In two seperate places, with two differant people. This scares me. Why is this happening just as I get used to the idea of singleness? Not that I object (Well, I’d prefer to make my own choices, but as official worshipper of the godess of provarication this is, I admit, unlikely. However. Er… I’ve forgotten what that was going to be about. So I think I’ll just close the brackets and get on with it), it just scares me slightly

Although not quite as much as the fact I appear to be better at reading minds than Winamp, which is saying something.

Imported From Epistula Personal


Things to say, things not to say.

I spent part of Thursday pacing a funfair like a mob-boss insuring that people didn’t get injured. This may make it into a story at some point.

I went to Cambridge. Stuff happened. I didn’t see Shrek, nor was any move made in that direction

I shall never be amazed at the tall conclusions people can leap to in a single bound, although the conclusion had *some* evidence for it, this was unseen by those that jumped to said conclusion, upon this subject I shall remain silent, and leave you to stew in your own juices for a while. Was that enigmatic enough, dear reader? I should hope so.

Stuff is happening, I’m introducing my little brother to the life and liberties of IRC, and in particuler the #afp channel. This is fun 🙂 State of the nation? Okay then…

Pennyhost (The people who host the wonderful world of Aquarionics) Sent me a bill I wasn’t expecting, at a price 150% higher than previously noted. This is irritating, and has meant that the Server Transfer is going to be push forward before it’s ready. This Is Bad, because Aquarionics3 (and, more specifically, the klind engine that runs it) is not even *close* to ready yet, mainly due to my switch from PHP to Perl. I’ll hack together a diary subsystem, I suppose, but this is not a good thing. The times, they are achangin’.

Imported From Epistula Personal


Taken from Hackvan

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he
had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and
they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw
in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever
seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said “Why your
heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked
at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had
places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn’t
fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places
there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people stared —
how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?

The young man looked at the old man’s heart and saw its state and laughed.
“You must be joking,” he said. “Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect
and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”

“Yes,” said the old man, “yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with
you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love – I
tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a
piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because
the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they
remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart
away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These
are the empty gouges — giving love is taking a chance

Although these gouges are
painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too,
and I hope someday they may return and fill thespace I have waiting. So now do
you see what true beauty is?”

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up
to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped
a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man
took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old
scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s heart. It fit, but
not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his
heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the
old man’s heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.

How sad it must be to go through life with a whole heart.

Imported From Epistula Personal

New bits

Nothing really happening. People having tough time (*hugs*), others having a good week.

I’ve put some new stuff up, mainly Linux Bash scripts, at the also new Geek Stuff area, and also put up the final version of Aquarion before it became Aquarionics in the Time capsule section

Imported From Epistula Personal

Happy Daze

Went to see Tomb Raider. Nick’s quick capsule review: It’s Almost Crap
Other than that, did nothing, really.

Imported From Epistula Personal

Must come down

…and at some point I will.

Ye gods I’ve had fun this week and a half, Spending days in London, going home for a couple of days, and then going to The Eosian Counsil 5 for four days. *sigh* I feel lucky, I feel calm, and I am – for the first time in a while – happy.

Or I would be. The downer of the whole Sunderland thing hit me very hard, although I almost expected it. I’m not allowed to get things right, it wouldn’t be fair.

There is another thing, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

Home to Station, Paddock Wood to Charing Cross, ChX to Euston, LE to Milton Keynes, MK to Bradwell Youth Hostel.

I went to tEC5. This is almost all that needs to be said here about that for the time being. A subsite will appear in a bit with meet reports etc, but right now I can just say that it was *fun*. From the drinking, to the M*o (Which I won’t explain), Blockbusters, the Music Quiz, The Trivia Quiz, Forfits, *especially* the Pictionary, everything I was doing Master of Ceremony stuff for (Very much like Cat Herding, but in a good way) and being told I should present a Game Show somewhere.

Not sure about that one, but hey.

Catching up with people I haven’t seen for months, Gifts of Vodka (Thanks Sarabian), Free Vodka (Thanks Aquarius), The Sweepstake on Ce`’s number of outfit changes (Well, no. But almost. Maybe next year), The lack of sleep, Drinking, Singing, Doing both together, Wandering around Milton Keynes looking for a supermarket, Wandering around the country looking for Milton Keynes, Preparing for the next meet, Late night card-games that disturb the nature and causality of the universe, Mutant soft-toys.

And I didn’t even get drunk, although I *was* drinking. This is normally more fun, since you tend to remember what’s happening more often.

Oh, and kissing Aquarius, but that goes without saying.

B-YHA -> MK Station -> Euston -> London Bridge -> Paddock Wood -> Home -> Bed.

And then I catch up with the real world, and it’s… It’s… *sigh*

One by one then…

People who I’m trying to be there for needed me over the weekend, and I was out having fun. *guilt*, although I did phone, which apparently pleased people 🙂

Breaking up is hard to do. From *both* sides, and I can never say “This is right, Do this” because it is never my decision to make (Including when I’m involved, but my inability to get out of relationships I shouldn’t be in has been previously discussed here), And so I can only ever offer *hugs*, and support, and be someone to talk to if it’s ever needed.

(…#I’m a Bad Ambasador,
For that elusive place you’re searching for,
I want to show you so much more,
but maybe some other time…)

But the fair has come to Paddock Wood (Photos soonish), So it looks like I should get the Scrabble Club together for a funfilled night of rides and catchup.

But I said that last year.

Imported From Epistula Personal


As he closed his eyes, he felt the world drop away. Existance span away into nothingness, a single pin-prick of light that contained all the was, all that would be, all that could be, all that never did, until that too vanished, and darkness consumed him. He reached back, flashback, the weeks, the silence, the kiss. The movie show, the stupid drinking game that had nearly killed them both, the complete and total happiness in each other’s company. He remembered every minute, even those he thought he’d lost, the sofa, the flat, and the complete satisfaction in knowing that here was the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with.

But nothing lasts, and the words this morning left him a hollow shell, a distant shadow of what he once was.

It’s over. I’ve met someone else.

And he lay back once again, and tryed to recapture the joy he’d known

Preferably without crying


(TTFN, peeps. Back monday)

Imported From Epistula Personal

Signing Out

As you might have seen on the Splash page, I ain’t here. I’m somewhere near Milton Keynes with misc people and stuff. Having fun


Did nothing today, except design that splash page

Imported From Epistula Personal

What Goes Up

Wot I did this week:

(Proper Diary entries start again tomorrow, Promise)


Decided that I didn’t go enough movies, and randomly decided to go see one. Took a train to High Brooms (30 minutes) and then walked to the Cinema (One Hour) in the hottest day of the year so far. Saw Evolution. It’s not too bad, although the whole thing is a ninty minute advert for… er… Something I won’t spoiler.


Decided that I didn’t go enough movies, and randomly decided to go see one. Took a train to Maidstone and then walked to the Cinema in the hottest day of the year so far. Saw Shrek. Shrek is fantastic. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The extent to which it takes the micky from Disney is *wonderful*. I emerged from the cinema singing the final track, which is a rendition of I’m A Believer by the wonderful Smash Mouth. Anyone who doesn’t, should do. And that applies both to seeing the movie, and singing the song. Damnit. I mean, I’ve seen it three times now, and am *still* finding new things… uh-oh… broken flow of narritive. Quick! The next topic!


Thursday was fun. I went to Linux Expo (Aquarionic Designs reserected for the benifit of a free ticket, but is about to be founded in it’s own right for freelance stuff). I now have updates for all the major distros (Apart from Slackware and Debian, which are the ones I was looking for. *sigh*) Found Darren Bean (of the infamous Userfriendly Party Picture fame), and proceeded to go for a drink. Geeked. Ate Pizza. Had fun. Went home.


*Finally* set up the 1000 Elephants Bank Account. Made T-Shirts. Played with networking stuff (New bits arrived). Had large arguments with siblings who don’t understand my objection to IPX (And therefore an instant Half-life/Counterstrike network) Organised Saturday


Went to London to meet Lonecat. Met (eventually). Found Forbidden Planet (Eventually). Queued, and got into the shop (Eventually), after randomly meeting Eric and Kevin from AFP (Completely seperately). Met Neil Gaiman, Spoke of Weblogs (both his and mine (Clue: You’re reading it) and the Blogger system that drives them both. Got his new book (To Nicholas, Dream Dangerously). Geeked websites with Eric and Kevin, and had lunch. Thanks to Lonecat and Chris, I got crash space at Chris’s house overnight, So we wandered onto the tube to get to the wonderful world of Camden, where we met up with Chris and a couple of his friends and went to see Shrek. Again. Emerged from that (It’s fantastic, Go see it) singing, Again, and back to Chris’ house to sleep ready for the audition on the morrow.


Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head. Don’t smoke, somebody spoke and I went into a dream.
Breakfast, then a wander to Goodge Street Station for the Audition. Found Eric (Jarvis, Director of the AFPMovie Project) outside, and went upstairs to wait for people…

…who were already there. Scary. Anyway, Did bits of a Play by Steve Patterson. A good audition (From both an Auditioner and Auditionee POV). It’s *going* to happen! Yay!
Bought Buffy 2 DVD set. *BOUNCE*

Mobile runs out of batteries.

After the audition we went to a pub, where it was noted that my shirt had an element of strokeability about it.

That above sentance involved proving it to various present, so I spent a while being stroked by females present. Pictures were taken. I will continue to claim innocence…

Saw Shrek (again) with the good people of AFP, and came out singing I’m A Believer. GO SEE IT. NOW

Am invited to stay another night at Chris’ with a view to going to a Karioke event on Monday night. Agreed. Watched a The Doug Anthony All Stars video, resolved to find more of it. Slept.


Spent an entire day watching various random films and fun things with Lonecat. A Good Day.
Wandered over to the pub for the Karioke, and failed to sing. This is good. I hereby thank lonecat for stopping me. Although I have now sang at Afpers, who will now understand why I haven’t sung at them on MP3 yet. It’s a long time since I could sing properly 🙁


Awoke. Said goodbye to Chris, walked with Lonecat to the station, and then fought London home, and told my parents where I had been for the past four days…

I had post.

The post was my results from my HND.



And I’ve failed.



I failed (of all things) the module I fluked the second assignment for, by not doing the first. (I failed to hand in the first assignment at the beginning of January. They’ve had Seven *MONTHS* to tell me I’d have to redo the fucking thing, you’ve have thought that even fucking Sunderland could have fucking done somefuckingthing in that time, but they prefer to leave me to be fucked slowly over a seven fucking month period.

Can you tell I’m irritated about this?

I’ll have to do some coursework for the 27th August. *sigh*, at least it’s after all hell has broken loose.

I can’t even pass a fucking HND, what hope have I in the real world?