First, there was the box. The box was large, heavy, and made of corrigated cardboard. And as it arrived, my dad left the house, with Fraternal Unit 2.0 in tow, for a Father/Son Bonding thing in the great land of London.

The box was brown, and contained a series of planks of wood and other small items for the assembleage of a Tallboy unit, and it was for Fraternal Unit 1.0, who is currently in the kitchen behind me, making me tea.

So, in a natural followon, Fraternal Unit 1.0 (Whose name is Ben, and thus will we refer to him as such) broke open said box, and allowed the evil within to escape. And never will the world return to it’s former state.

For well it started, the planks of wood were laid out and labelled, and verily were there no small articles missing from within. All items necessary for the assemblage of the unit were contained within the cardboard package, and so Ben set to work with diligence and speed.

And then it so happened that the dog desired a glance out of the window of the room where this assemblage was taking place. And so, taking utmost care, he padded across the cardboard box. And Ben shouted muchly, as paw-prints were not to his liking. So the dog, ever happy to do right, padded back to where he wasn’t being shouted at, and two sets of paw-prints graced the box.

But I digress.

Hours passed, and glue was applied, plugs plugged, doweling… er… doweled, and thusly was the tallboy forged in heat and fire. Or none of which, as it was wooden, and would therefore burn.

And so the final point came, insert tab (a) into slot (a), and then start the final process of applying screws with finesse and completeness.

But there was an error, for slot (a) was not slotting out, and was instead flush with the top of the item. And Ben waxed wroth, for this had taken hours, and was not going well. And verily did he lightly thump the top of said semi-constructed tallboy.

The following paragraph will be typed in slow motion so you can get the full image of the event:

First, the left side of the item emerged triumphant from it’s half-glued state, and made it’s merry way to the carpeting, while the shelves and top unit, bereft of that which was holding them together, were affected by the force of gravity. Thirdly, the right hand edge, with no longer anything keeping it in the vertical position it lived and loved, was forced to make an ill-considered rest upon the bookshelf to one side, dislodging a copy of my Maternal Unit’s latest piece of trashy fiction, and letting it tumble gracefully to rest upon what had – until recently – been the top of the unit, albeit some four feet lower down. And there it rested, cover up, proclaiming it’s title for all to see:

“Simply Divine”