So, today I watched King Arthur

As a film, it’s mildly bad.

As a retelling of the Arthurian Myth… it’s a travesty wrapped inside a bastardisation wrapped in an enigma. Tied up in a bow with a cherry on top.

I was going to go on about all the ways it’s bad, but these people do it better

The only possible advantage this movie has is that it has Keira Knightly going all woad rage. And that would have been better if she’d remember to spend some of the millions she’s making on the occasional sandwich.