So, first we have a post that LoneCat sent me from the LJ Community “Mock The Stupid”, The Fool, the Cigarette and the O2 Canisters . This is so incredibly bad I can’t believe it. For example:
I see “the King of the Idiots” calming smoking a cigarette while sitting next to a sleeping old woman in a wheel chair, who coincidentally happens to have two tanks of oxygen strapped to the back which she is breathing out of. TWITCH
Somehow I manage to fight my natural survival instinct to flee long enough to say (perhaps a tad loudly)
“Sir, you CAN NOT smoke in here. Put that out NOW.”
He looks at me, blinks, and says, “Why should I?”
I respond with, “Put the cigarette OUT and I will tell you.” (At this time two of my coworkers have been drawn by the smell, and the alarm in my voice and so now there are three of us standing in the doorway and another running down the hall to call security)
So “Belligerent Boy” begrudgingly stabs out the offending smoke on the floor, right next to Granny’s oxygen tank, and leaves the still smoldering butt there. My co-worker Tim rushes over scoops up the potential fuse and dumps it in the sink.
I proceed to explain that since this is a Hospital (i.e. a Sterile Environment) and due to the fact the he is sitting next to two tanks of highly flammable material that could make a good sized crater outta the waiting area, and that there are sprinkler heads/smoke alarms and posted no smoking signs Basically smoking is not allowed.
His response: “Not good enough, honey.” as he takes out another smoke and lights it
It gets worse from there. Now Read On
Less life threateningly stupid, but more traditionally funny, I play NationStates occasionally (Currently as “The Most Serene Republic of Avenue X” in the West Pacific) and got a telegram from someone inviting me to their Really And Most Sincerely Gothic Clan, which was all very well, but it signed off with the following:
[B]ut beware of our evil mistress. Lady Kitty runs the place, and she is pure bread vampire.
Pure bread vampire. That could be fun, I mean, you’d have to kill them with Garlic Bread, I suppose.
Of course, the most Gothic of Sincerly Gothic Bread Vampire clans would have to be the terrible and most truely evil clan of all: The Risen.