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(Today’s entry needs little explaination, It is a horoscope, based on something more substanial than what stars were up on your birthday. They are released every working-day, and I write the one on thursdays. You can get them daily here. Due to lack of inspiration, today’s weblog is the ‘scope that came out today, by me)
Welcome to the AFP horoscope hotline, In a week filled with political intensity, and a week in which your humble fishtank was accused of being Whimsical, and also a week were many people were stranded due to the inability of the (t)rain network to deal with water in Yuckia, I’m going to ask you deep and meaningful questions on…
What rules your world?

The promises of the bank of (insert country here)

This week will be one of heartache and sorrow, of desperation and of pain. Your world will fall apart, and everything you know will be destroyed in a great whirlwind of destructive force. You dreams shattered, your hopes dashed to particle state upon the rocks of reality, whilst the lighthouse of the future is doused by the waters of the real world. Yes, this week you will fail to win the lottery.

Love & Sex: How can you *think* of that sort of thing at a time like this? How *could* you be so insensitive
Luck: Your lucky DVD is The Iron Giant, Your lucky obRef is 24601

The desires and whims of the love of my life.

The day started so well too. Pinning your hopes on one donkey doesn’t seem to have helped you any, esspecially when this donkey has turned out to be a bull. The greenness of the grass will lead irrevokably to spending more time with the stain-remover, whilst remembering that the red roses of love are few shades away from the red of blood and pain may be more trouble than it is worth.

Love & Sex: A picnic in the fields of happiness may seem like a good idea to start with, but it will all too soon be time to pack up and go home.
Luck: Your lucky washing powder is Surf, your lucky obRef is Mawhrin-Skel

choice$ = int(rnd(time/10))+5

Today you will find that whilst every cloud has a silver lining, magpies always line the trees, and all that is gold may not glister. Lady luck may smile on you, and you may be within the mirror of her dreams, but remember that all within a reflection is back-to-front. The deserts of depression are no match for the desserts of whipped cream, and whilst a man runs though it, drowning will forever be at the forfront of his mind.

Love & Sex: A green hand may bode badly for a movie, but a green lover is forever fun.
Luck: Your lucky game release is Monkey Island 4, your lucky obRef is a Lady of Pain Doll.

Your wish is my command.

The grass is grass is always greener on the other side, but the lushness will always attract those sheep who prefer to graze. Your stiches in time will suceed in avoiding paradox, but beware that your crossthreading may lead you to a disadvantage when all things come to pass. A death in the rainforest may mean nothing to the city-swell, but the pigmy may find his house destroyed. Remember that the blue sky is caused by oxygen, but the blue face is a result of it’s lack.

Love & Sex: A pink elephant will always cause the blue baboon to look the other way.
Luck: Your lucky voltage is 220v, your lucky obRef is Mister Sellers

The Telephone Company

To many kooks are spoiling the Booth for you today, but remember that many hands make light work. Broken lights may be a cause for concern, but remembering how many Budists it takes to change a lightbulb may cause your life to go back to normal. Remember that a small Moth having his phone cut off in Plymouth will cause widespread depression from Oxford to Sunderland and beyond.

Love and Sex: The quick brown fox tripped over a rabbit hole. Beware the lazy dog.

Luck: Your scientific thing is Quantum, Your lucky obRef is: “I’ll be your foil, Laertes; in mine ignorance”

Something else

A bird in the hand is worth quite a bit for you today, but remember that if they are seagulls, avoid feeding them sodium wrapped in bread or alka-seltzer, unless you wish the RSPCS to come down on you like a ton of breezeblocks. Remember that two of them captured on the shrubs are worth just as much on the common market.

Love and Sex: That island that you really enjoyed? You can never go back. But remember, it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never have loved atoll.
Luck: Your lucky Linux Distro is Debian, your lucky obRef is: “I’m packing your extra pair of shoes and your ANGRY eyes!”

All over. If you think you got all the obRefs, or you wish to hit me for bad puns, talk to aquarion@aquarionics.com

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