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there were vikings and boats and some plans for a furniture store.

I went to Ikea with a List. I have to go to Ikea with a List, otherwise I end up with a trolley full of crap that is astoundingly useful but is not what I went in for. I went to:

Bounce on some sofas a bit.
Buy some instances of Billy the Bookcase
…and another bookcase.
…some more bookcases.
And a wardrobe, and a chest of drawers.
And kitchen equipment.

Then, because I know me well, I added “and stuff” on the end of the list, so that even when I bought some random crap I’d still be On List.

…Eight hundred pounds later…

…to be fair, bookcases aren’t cheap, and sofas aren’t either (I ended up upgrading my planned sofa after my first choice wasn’t bouncy enough). The Wardrobe was pretty cheap, but pots and pans and rugs and vases and plates and jam and little rocks and candles and spoons and hooks and glasses and jam and ooh, look! A thing for thinging things! I must have a… SHINY! THIS WILL BE MINE! AND THAT! AND THIS! AND…

…in hindsight, getting a trolley was my first mistake. But I asked! I said unto the Information Desk “will the home delivery service take that trolley full of stuff?” and they said “Of course, just take it over there when you’ve paid”.

And I did. And the incredibly cute girl on the desk explained to me that no, they didn’t, because it went in a lorry and stuff would break. So I did the bumbling englishman bit, I explained I had been told that I could do this, and was now a bit stuck, and I peered from under my fringe and turned up whatever charm I could.

To my eternal suprise, it worked.I took all the breakable bits home by taxi, and tomorrow will consist of a great deal of flatpackness.

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If you’re still reading this, Merry Christmas. Maybe next year it’ll get content again.


From complications arising from complications arising from things that could have, should have… whatever. Jasper the dog died…