Imported From Epistula Personal

Health, Wealth, and the game of our leader

*ahem* parents worrying about lack of diary entries is probably a clue to start writing again. The last week has been… complex. On the plus side, we now have free net connection, gas, water, heating, net(and not)working, games playing, food, and generally Stuff.

The mini-dinner-housewarming thing we had on Tuesday was a sucess, despite various communications breakdowns.

As previously predicted, money is slightly tight, and certian things that I’m sure we will look back on in six months and laugh at are happening to make life stressful, not least that my desire not to infect anyone else with the horrible bug that I caught at the beginning of the week has stopped me doing many useful things, like wander around recruitment places. I feel that spraying snot around their near offices will not endear me to them.

In the meantime, I wax slightly lyrical about how nice the new house is, mask my disappointment as health and finance stop me going to the Notts meet, and work for tomorrow, when I have a server to rebuild. Oh, and Nikki just pointed me at a site that may soon become a time sink.

Oh, and I found that Rosemary and her SO both play The Card Game That Cannot Be Named, so that may make life interesting. Well, after they move back after the summer holidays…

Imported From Epistula Personal


I’m feeling ikky. I have a cold, a headache, and the sunlight is killing me. I spent far too long during the day asleep (not really being a very good host to Supermouse) feeling sorry for myself. The worst part is I have things I *have* to get done, not least sign up with the temping agencies, but while I can’t even think streight for the pain, and while the contrast on the monitor is turned down so it doesn’t hurt my eyes, I can’t go out into the blazing sunshine for more than a quarter hour. So today I have spent feeling sorry for myself, so I have something to hit myself over the head with tomorrow (I can’t be lazy two days in a row…

Imported From Epistula Personal

101 things you they never tell you

Today has been educational.

Yesterday evening, between four and five, Me and Cookie entered our new house in Cambridge.


Since then, education has happened, and I have learnt things.

For example:

  • Never argue with a washing machine. You will get wet toes.
  • Bedding for double beds is horribly expensive.
  • The bed in my room is not, in fact, a double, but a queen-size. Damn.
  • If at first you don’t suceed, Read The Manual.
  • If at second you don’t suceed, Read *ALL* the Manuals.
  • Sausages take longer to cook than bacon (Yes, I knew this already, I just forgot about them this morning)
  • Cambridge is nice.
  • Having your own place is nice.
  • It is more sensible for the person who is going to be at home all day to have the key to the back door.
  • If at third you don’t suceed, light the pilot light.
  • Cream cheese and chives on crumpet is nice.
  • The new house is /beyond/ nice. It has niceness, it has greatness, and it has houseosity. Like.

Plus, LoneCat comes here tomorrow, which is even better 😀

The only thing it doesn’t have is a phoneline, so, from a cybercafe somewhere in Cambridge, TTFN 🙂

Imported From Epistula Personal


I move in on Monday. It’s Saturday. I should be packing. And I am, putting everything neatly (and not-so-neatly) into archive boxen and loading it outside my room.

In the process, I have also completed the move of Afphrid to it’s new domain at (Thanks Pol for setting it up), fixed a number of bugs in some other code, and had an attack of “On this day in history”.

The results of this were that I got out a Zip Disk labeled simply “Old Web” which contains a whole bunch of old designs for Aquarionics. At some point I’ll put some online so you can see how far we’ve developed since then, in the meantime I’ve added loads of stuff that has previously been thought lost in the move from Pennyhost to here to the new Vault section of Misc. Go see.

I’m happy, I’m writing stuff (even if it is just Usenet, it’s properly planned and executed full-length things), I’m *moving*, something is actually *happening* to my life. And I haven’t felt so happy in over eight months 😀

Imported From Epistula Personal

Our House

It’s done. The references have passed, the deposit is here, the thing has been finished. As of Monday, 17th June 2002, I am living in Cambridge.

I am currently playing Madness – Our House, at the highest volume my speakers will allow.

Project Geekhouse Stage One. Complete.


Imported From Epistula Personal

I have seen the future

Destiny is a funny thing.

I am destined to own a Sony Cli

cevearn Imported From Epistula

Ceaven '95

Kael’s Rainbow

Some people, thought Kael, Do not have this problem. No, he ammended in his head, absolutly no one has this exact problem, save one. me.

Arguing is a human trait. It is fairly easy but can be made more difficult with extra factors such as, for example, the other party being of the oposite sex. This was one of Kael’s problems. It would be made more difficult is you were trying to argue with two differant members of the opposite sex. This was another of Kaels problems. They are – naturally – arguing about two differant subjects entirely. There are few ways to make this harder still- short of the two arguments happening of differant worlds. Cue Kaels problem no. 3. Plus he was getting a headache.

“Lisa” He said to the Wizardess in the University
“No” Said Emerald, the Wizardess in the University, in a voice that stated that she would soon begin punctuating remarks with fireballs.
“Lisa?” He said to the girl in the library.
“Yes?” said Lisa, Kael was relived.
“I’m sorry, I apologise unreservedly for this misdemenor, but unfortunatly we do not posess the infomation you require.”
“What?” said Lisa,
“Kael!” said Emerald, A flash of panic zoomed across Kaels face and was gone before it was noticed.
“Y…” said Kael to Lisa before he realized then: “We don’t have any books on the role of egg sandwiches in World War II”
“But my friend Clara said she got all the books she needed from here.” Said Lisa.
“You’re not paying attention!” Said Emerald
“No my love” Said Kael to Emerald. This was getting complicated. Hold on! IDEA! “I’ve got some complications down here, I’ll be back later”
“But you can’t vanish in the middle of an argume…” screamed Emerald, incorrectly as it happened
The Kael in the library seemed visibly more relaxed.
“Can’t I?” he said under his breath then: “Who told you this?” he asked
“Clara. Clara Binkings” said Lisa
“Regestration group?”
Details went into the computer. seconds later.
“Your friend Carla” said Kael plesently “has taken all the books we have on egg sandwiches. I’d go an speak with her if I were you.”
Lisa stormed off and started making towards a small girl with large round glasses.
Then Kael went back into the librarians office and relaxed.

The air shimmered for a minute and Kael appeared in his office at the university. The office was blue. very blue. The carpet, the books, the desk, the shelves. All differant shades of blue. Kael was no longer wearing school uniform either, he was wearing a light blue suit with a single badge on it. The badge was a rainbow design arching over the top of a blue gem. the gem was in the shape of a water drop and seemed some how unreal. The glasses he wore- an affliction, he could fix his eysight, but he liked wearing glasses- were deep blue colour. he clicked his fingers and his staff appeared, shrank into a pen which he put in his pocket. From his desk drawer he drew a bunch of flowers, and so, defences in place and muttering “Here`s some I prepeared earler” he left his office. Seconds later he was standing outside the next office. The design on the door was similer to his badge, except that instead of the blue rain-drop the symbol here was a green tree. He knocked.

“Come in” said a voice. Kael took a deep breath and did as he was told to.
“Bella Donna” he said as he entered, “I bring a peace offering” he presented the flowers.
“We are not at war.” Said Emerald “Yet.”
“Tempory measures.” replied Kael. “Look, I`m really sorry about just now…”
“Sorry.” Said Emerald with forced calm “You disappear from an Argument, with 5 seconds notice. An Argument we have been having for the past 3 weeks. An Argument that You promised you would not rest until was settled this time.”
Oh dear. thought Kael, Capital Letters.
“Have I rested?” he asked. This was the wrong thing to say.
“The university opens in 6 weeks. In 6 weeks time each member of the rainbow has to start teaching students their subjects.” Said Emerald
“That’s not my fault” he said. and instantly regreted it. It Was.
“Oh yes it is!” Kael, sensibly, did not mention pantomimes.
“6 Months ago you reappear after nearly 800 years away, and suggest that it may be a good idea to put the training on a reliable footing, for example a university. And like fools we all agreed. then you compleatly shake up the entire way we think of magic. So now Me and you and all the other partnerships you formed have to find ways of linking their lessons.”
muttering about plot elements Kael gave in and spent the rest of the day arguing with his girlfriend.

Back at the school library. Life was easier. Not really a busy day, so Kael pretended to read whilst listening to what everybody else was doing, and half-heartedly discussing terms and sylubuses with Emerald.

Next day was the last day of term at school. All Kaels friends and classmates left at least 2 weeks ago. Kael stayed on to help in the library. There was nothing to do at home.

6 Weeks past. Slowly. Summer holiday time, which is double normal time when your having fun and 1/4 normal time when your not. Kael spent a lot of time at the university. He had to do the introduction speach for the students…

… and the day came. The great hall was big. It was bigger on the inside then the outside. but only for this speach when everybody had to be here.
The stage was empty, then the lights dimmed. There was no visable light sources to dim however. Then a voice came to them, seemingly to each indervidual alone and said: “Make your hands into a ball, on on the other” in a voice which commanded. This each person did. suddenly a blue light came from inside their hands. “Open your hands”. they opened their hands. Inside was a ball of light. no bigger than a marble which lifted into the air and made it’s way to the stage, where it formed the figure of a man. the man was about 6ft tall, and features were hard to make out because of the light. When the light faded, the man was seen to have brown hair, side parted, with blond streaks in it and was wearing a Blue suit. Those in the front row could see he had the bluest eyes you could ever see. He was leaning on a staff which was a foot shorter than he was. The reader knows that this is Kael, they didn’t. Yet.

“Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and Girls. Students and Human beings. Welcome to the Rainbow University” Said the figure on the stage “My name, in this particuler time and place is Kael” he pronounced it Kay-el “and I am here to give you a history of the Rainbow. Not, as my may have guessed, the result of meterological precibitation and light. The Rainbow is this particuler world’s body of magical excellence. We represent the 7 fields of Magic, The Pigmental Manipulations, the Shades, and the Elemental Arts, Plus we keep the lore of the lands. You are each here to learn at least one of these skills or improve on a natural talent.

Why are we called the Rainbow? A Good Question and one which I will now answer. First of all we are not. We are, in fact the Thurmalogical Spectrum, We have however been called the Rainbow for so long that the other title is all but forgotten. The 7 People who make up the Rainbow each resprent, and are represented by, a colour. Mine, as you can see, is Blue and we shall come to the others later, but now you may have guessed. The colours we use are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue and Violet. The colours of the Rainbow.

Now for the history lesson: Before the inception of the Rainbow there were hunderds of differant magitions, Nobody knows how many since there was no formal body to find out. Each one claimed to be the best in his field, this was easy as he claimed to be the only one in his field. They all had only one thing in commern, None of them understood magic, they just did it and each took one apprentice in their lifetime. They were selfish and so refused to teach the apprentices all they knew since only then could they be better. So Magic was draining away. Each magition took at least one of his secrets to the grave. Then distaster struck the world. A war. But the cause was true, they said, one side was Saying that the world was round and span around on the Axis, with the Star of Agima at the top. The other side agreed, but said the star was called Seapea. And so the war went on. Only the World Aurthority and the Magitions stayed neutral. Then the WA suggested that the magitions went to either side and used their talents to assist the peace process. The magitions couldn’t refuse could they? and so they went to either side. And failed. Being able to produce rabbits from behind ears is a neat way to make a living. But doesn`t help you when someone is trying to kill you. The Magitions, to a mage, were wiped out.” The figure on stage paused at this point. he then took a glass of water from thin air and drank it.

“Where was I? Oh yes. The great destruction. After the war, in which the star now known as the Cam star was named, The WA searched for any wizards or magic users that remained. They found two, One was a bright and cheerful person, He agreed to help train young people in magic and such. The other was dark and depressing, and he refused. He ducks out of the story at this point and is never heard of again.” The name of the cheerful person is unknown. He is refered to only as White and so that is what I will refer to him as.

The original training scheme was holey to say the least. A boy – or girl- with what I will call `Talent’ was sent to White for training. It didn’t work. The amount of knowlage to be a master of the entire sphere of Magic would not fit into one mind. After a certian ammount of knowlage – differant to each pupil – the mind rebeled and the pupil went mad. White lived many lifetimes, that was one of the spells no one else could master, and over the years he discovered ways of determing how much power the person could handle, but the idea wasn’t working. The new generation of Magitions were as, if not more, competitive than there predecesors and so he gave up and stoped training. None of his pupils trained anyone, so he became the only practicing magition once again. In time he went searching for talent. He found 7 people who could together possibly learn all the secrets and taught them, and gave them the secret of eternal life” Kael paused again. He told himself he was missing bits. like the definition of eternal life for examp…
“Sir?” Said a voice in the crowd. There was a ripple of murmerings down the hall. Who was this intruder?
“Yes, Pilgrim?” Backstage Emerald flinched. ‘Pilgrim’ was level three on Kaels irritation scale.
“How do you mean eternal? Is it that they wouldn’t get old, or that they couldn’t be killed?” asked the Querier
“We don’t know. We haven’t got older, but nobody has managed to stick a sword in any of us yet.” Answered Kael. “As you might have noticed I said We. This is because the current Rainbow is those first Seven. Which brings me on to part 2 of my little speach.” Still backstage Emerald muttered something about Little. Kael couldn’t hear.
“Part 2 is the introduction to the Rainbow.”A curtain rose – on cue and by magic – revealing a row of chairs. all white, all wooden. Kael was working himself into a frensy of exitment “I present to you… The Rainbow!”
One by one the chairs changed into thrones. Each a colour of the rainbow.
Around the each chair came a glow of the colour of the throne, until it was imposible to look at, and then it faded, leaving a person in each chair.

And now it was a week later and Kael was facing his first lesson as a teacher. “You have all been selected because you have talent in the field of ‘blue’ magic. First the types of magic: Red is the first, Red magic is known as Magic. we refer to all types of magic as Magic becaue it is a neat term, and it is the one that caught the publics imagination. The real name for the disruption of normal events is Thaumology. Red magic comes from books. A spell is writen on a scroll or book by a person with a talent or it and the spell becomes real. Magitions also have control over the colour Red and all aspects of it. Orange magitions are called Mages. Their magic comes from an outside object and is measureable – more on this later – The downside for this is the fact that the effect for the spell comes from the object you select – not from you. Yellow is Sourcery, You are the Source for the magic, Sourcery is the same as Mageship execpt that the power comes from you. This makes sourcery useless for creating fireballs, for example, since they will burn your hand as you throw it. Those two powers are the ‘focus’ group, since they are differenciated by their focus point.

Skiping two, for reasons which will become aparent, we move on to Indigo and violet. The life couple. Indigo is the power of life, of healing and Violet is Necromancy, that of death. and then we skip back to the Mental powers, first of Green. The power of green is known as External Mental. This means that a Wizardess, such as Emerald, can read minds and use that knowlage of what someone else is thinking to create a picture, or illusion, of that. This is linked with the our power. The power of the blue, The Imaginist. or Internal Mental. We have the ability to read our own minds with a clarity that others only dream of. We can also create the most fantastic illusions possible. The very best example I can give you of this is myself. I, in a very real sense, am not here. The vision you see is a Illusion, a Metagram I call it. Story time: 800 years ago there was an accident. From what I can gather I went to answer a plea for assistance and it was a trap. I was trapped on a planet known now as Kaelsbain, or Earth as it stylises itself. I became a figure of power on that world, I was known as Merlin. The secret to immortality is not on that world however, and so I was forced to retire. The whole event lasted 50 years and then some thing went wrong. in a single day a field was placed on every living thing at a genetic level so that all magic would be damped to such an effect that it would cease to happen. My magic dried up. I put memory seals on myself and in my dying breath cast a spell to pass my power and memory to my most suitable son for ever more. 800 years later I regained my memory of that event and used a device that was orbiting that planet to cast an illusion back to this world. Thus I am still on Earth and thus I am here.” The speach ended and Kael’s illusion left the room.

Back on earth Kael blinked. It didn’t help. The problem with wearing sunglasses was that it made the world darker. This was fine in summer, but in winter it was not so good. It must be the time of year. or something, he thought. Kael was about 6 feet tall and thin. He had deep brown hair that had a white streak on one side and usualy had brown eyes. This is where the problem lay. His eyes flashed deep blue occasionally when he was concentrating on his illusion. Then he wore the shades. The problem (again) was that he had woken up this morning and looked in the mirror. his eyes were blue. Not the shiny sky blue of eyes, but the deep navy blue of the Rainbows Imaginist. Something was wrong.

Imported From Epistula Personal

Real Updates

When people demand a diary entry, they get one 🙂

However, I didn’t promise it was going to be helpful, insightful, or anything.

A Real Journal Entry, then.

It’s all going to go horribly wrong, I can tell. It is now over one year since I left Sunderland for good, and in that time I’ve managed to get myself a life, a girlfriend, and more recently a flat. I haven’t managed to find a job yet, and the time has come to abandon the weight-of-numbers method of applying for jobs in favour of a more personal, actually-visiting-recruiters method, which will be more expensive, but has a higher chance of sucess. I cannot rely on my CV to sell me, I need to go see people and turn my Krisma at them.

Not that I belive this can possibly work, because I’m still convinced I’m unemployable, but it’s got to be worth a shot, and other people seem to belive in me, even if I don’t.

There hasn’t – I’m told – been enough of me in the diary entries recently. This is simply because there is nothing new to report, I’m waking up every morning, breathing in and out, and continuing to do so all day, to quote from a really sappy movie. Hey, in two weeks I might even be happy with my lot in life, but I really doubt it. I’m riding for a fall. I’m not depressed again, not doing “whirlpool of inky blackness” metaphors, but neither am I dancing for joy. Nothing new, so nothing reported

In site news, Afphrid has been upgraded to handle messages nicely, the Music Section is back online, and the message preview has stopped adding slashes before quotes.

In House News, I’m shortly off to the bank to get the cheque for the deposit.

In convention news, I’m co-hosting a speculation panel at the Discworld Con. Scary

In news news, PriceWaterhouseCooper’s Consulting division is relabling itself Monday. #Tell me why (I don’t like Mondays)…

Imported From Epistula Personal


I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still,
When suddenly a tiny bird,
Perched on my windowsill,
He sang a song so lovely,
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers,
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window,
And crushed his fucking head.
I'm not a morning person.

(Stolen mercylessly from a post by Sensei on Avocadia

Imported From Epistula Personal

I'll Light the Fire

Friday was hectic. Sorting out all the various bits of paper required to confirm the house, and now starts the process of raising the deposit. Funness.

So, The House then. It’s nice, it’s just off Mill Road in Cambridge (Just south of the railway bridge) (No, I’m not giving a precise address here). It has three bedrooms, a bathroom, a toilet, a long thin garden with a shed at the bottom, a nice kitchen, and is fairly narrow – as houses go. It’s furnished, and it looks like this:

Our House

And, baring large iceburgs, we move in in nine days. Cool.

What else? Oh, The day after I signed the cheque for the admin fee (for renting the house) a recruitment company offered me a job within 15 miles of here. *sigh*