New Flat Adventures - Shaving
Apologies to anyone expecting anything real of me atm. A week of typing at a badly ergonomically designed desk (i.e., my dining table) appears to have undone the last couple of years of antiRSI training. To the anecdote.
The world is divided in the world of shaving, as it is in so many other things. It is divided into four groups: There are those who shave with real razors (Real Men), those who shave with Electric Razors (Girly Men), those who shave with Big Knives (Fools) and those who don’t shave (Bearded Ones. Also: “Girls”) (This Venn diagram of simplicity does not take into account the semi-bearded ones, who we shall ignore, then mock, then ignore again because it complicates the theory).
My new flat, awesome as it stands in majestic dominance of the landscape, does not contain a shaving point near the sink, or any other mirror. So, I could either attempt to run electricity into the bathroom (An unpopular suggestion, finally vetoed by my remaining shred of self-preservation) or I could migrate from the second category into the happy world of the first. (My self preservation and I had a small argument about this, on the basis that scraping multiple blades across my accident-prone face was probably unwise, but countered with the fact that it appeared to feel that these multiple blades were safer if they were whirling and powered by Phillips, it backed down. The Third option was never raised, and the fourth remained trapped, sat upon by it was by the overwhelming memory of the (fortunately unphotographed) University Experimental Facial Hair Phase).
See? You thought an entry about such a banal subject was going to be dull, didn’t you? And here you are, getting a valuable insight into my twisted and fractured psychology. Aren’t you _oh_ so lucky?
Buying a razor is more complicated than you may assume. First, there is the essential question of blades. Do you want a single blade? Two? Five? Nine? Do you want a razor that will make you feel like aeroplanes are passing over your skin, or more like someone is whiling a sabre near your face? How about the speed of sound, do you want a razor that could break it? Twice? Three times?. Then you must be sure to decide on the duskiness of the maidens who will waltz into your bathroom to keep you clean shaven. Do you want a battery powered one? one that oozes ichor into your skin? Ectoplasm? Or would you prefer moisturiser? Does a razor that oozes moisturiser negate the razor back into “Girly Men” category? Even if it’s battery powered? What the hell is the point of a battery powered safety razor anyway? And why the hell are the blades more expensive than the main unit? Talk about your razor-blade econo… oh, yes, right.
Eventually, and after much soul searching, I picked one that didn’t ooze any kind of gunk, but would break the sound barrier three times whilst a dozen dusky maidens bathed me. Then I put it down for the one that came with a box of extra blades instead, because I’m not made of money.
Eventually I managed to buy the thing (Which required the cashier to find a manager to authorise the purchase while the queue behind me snaked further back into the store until it was lost in the mists, and also the person behind me threw money at me until I went away), but argh, why must everything be so complicated?
- 2005-12-13 13:56:58
- Updated 3 minutes later
- By Aquarion
- From Fortress One, Bedford
- More Journal Entries
- Filed under Moving To Beford & Personal
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D:
I bought a new razor back in October. Purchase procedure was simple. I was in $supermarket and it was the cheapest on offer with the most free blades.
When the free blades run out I may bin it and repeat the whole procedure. :)
-Dx
sil:
Ha! You can’t just cop out by dismissing semi-bearded people, because otherwise your argument applies only to clean-shaven men and Brian Blessed. Not good enough. I demand some proper tips!
Aquarion:
“So would I, if I had your beard”
(Sorry, you stood up and asked for that)
sil:
I try hard to set these things up :)
cat:
I like mine that can break the speed of sounds three times. I also like the powered one. It’s good to have someone else buy the blades though.. Like with sabers..
Kian Ryan:
I spent the past few years trying to sort out a decent shaving gel that I could rely on. I ‘ve used Original Source, Gilette, Nivea, King of Shaves, Nivea Sensitive (don’t ask what happened with the Nivea) and some own brands.
The winner? Surprisingly, one of the ones I least expected. Original Source Mint & Tea Tree reacts least with my skin and provides ample lubrication and a fresh zingy feeling to finish.
Razor? I ‘ve had the M3, M3 Turbo, M3 Power, Wilkinson Quattro, BIC, another Wilkinson with three blades on. I’ve found the Gilette the easiest to clean, and the M3 blades just wash all that hair and crap away with easy. I failed to clean the Quattro happily so that went in the bin. I also found the Quattro ergonomically crap. Yes, it may be shaped like a snake suffering from stomach cramps but you can’t effectively hold it to use. It just slips around the hand. I know blades, I know grips. I know what Wilkinson is capable of (I’ve weilding a few excellent blades from them), and this is not it.
The overall winner? The M3 Power. Surprisingly, the Power vibrations do appear to make a difference, and you get used to the idea of a shaking blade after a few uses.
Hell, I even have a AAA operated shaking toothbrush. The buttons slip in my bag and it looks like I’ve just passed through Amsterdam International with something personal in the bottom of my bag.
Jens Ayton:
There are rechargeable electric girly-man shavers, you know. You charge them up in, e.g., the bedroom, and use them on nice safe battery power in the bathroom.
That said, I use Real Man razors since Gilette gave me one for my birthday.
The reason for the cost thing is pretty obvious, really: the blades are precision engineering, the rest is a lump of plastic with optional base metal bits.
Laurabelle:
My significant other will use a single razor blade for months, merely by soaking it in a mixture of about 2 tbsp water to 1/16 tsp baking soda. This cleans the blade of all the oils, hair, and other gunk, so all that dulls the blade is the actual nicks on the cutting edge. It makes them last an amazingly long time.
He can ‘t remember when he last bought razor blades; he’s only about halfway through a 10-pack.
haroon:
>those who don’t shave (Bearded Ones. Also: Girls”)
I don ‘t agree with this. Care to explain why you think bearded men are girls? or may be I didn’t get your point
Aquarion:
You ‘ve missed my point. Bearded ones and Girls are seperate categories in this oversimplified model (Which doesn’t take into account things like the fact girls shave their legs, or most do, or anything like that)
haroon:
What do you think of men who shave with razors, then grow up a beard and then after some time shave it off again?
Btw what razor are you using currently? Mine is Gillete Mach III turbo. A beautiful and sexy red one.
Sorry about this extra comment, I forgot to put these in previous one.
Aquarion:
They’ve moved from category three to categories one or two.
Aha. A difficult question. A Willkinson Sword Quattro, it says.