Don’t Stick Bits Of Your Body Into Old-Style Scanners
A lesson for us all, there
Harvested from usenet
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Day: 25 July 2002
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RSS Feeds Update
Okay, the new system being activated, we have a slightly differant rss system. The existing aquarionics.com/diary.rss contains just the Diary, not the weblog, and is, in fact, now just a symlink to ‘nics.com/rss/diary.rss, which is the prefered address. The weblog is at /rss/weblog.rss, and a feed containing everything is at /rss/all.rss. Coming soon, the feed for Nodes.
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This is not a drill
http://www.petloss.com/welcome.htm
[ccooke] [...]Don't look.
[ccooke]This is the textual equivalent of biological warfare.
[ccooke]I *mean* this.
via ccooke on #afp
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One day…
One day I shall learn not to bother spending actual time on posts to newsgroups. I shall spend the time I save by taking up a hobby that is more rewarding, like perhaps throwing snowballs at the ocean.
Still unemployed. V bad.
LoneCat is coming to Cambridge today. V Good.
Entries in last day: 9 V.V bad, attempting to drown troubles in weblogs not good.
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Butterfly
Lets go wandering…
Starting with part of Aquarionics’ description tags, we get Home Made Trebuchets, and from there to Hangover Cures and from there onto rusting keys and via GlassDog to a nice Domain Searching toy to Pseudogeek.com (I Am Not A Geek) which aims to be a comprehensive guide to all bands ever. It currently contains Status Quo and Jamiroquai, so it’s off to a good start…
But it also links to a band called Amor, which in turn wanders to The Davey Brothers, a site with far more enthusiasm than nice design (AND LOTS AND LOTS OF CAPITAL LETTERS SO YOU DON’T GET CONFUSED)
The original aim was to take this back round into blogland, do loads of stuff about other people’s blogs, and then circle back around to Aquarionics by any means possible, but I got distracted about fifteen sites back (although it’s only seven links in the final draft) and I’m still reading the archives of Lance Arthur’s weblog at GlassDog which stopped last year, because it’s good, and wellwritten. It also makes quite a few points as to why Aquarionics is going more weblog than diary, although I doubt I’ll eradicate the diary completely.
Oh, something because people have asked. To just get the diary (ie, About Aquarion) bits, add “?filter=Aquarionics” to the URL. That’s http://www.aquarionics.com?filter=Aquarionics, or just click on any single diary entry and bookmark the URL. Same – but for “weblog” instead of “Aquarionics” – for the pure weblog. There will at some point be a save-settings-type interface. There isn’t yet.
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All this was fields
Salon have a a deal with Radio. I’ve now been blogging for a couple of years, and watching these things come up has been… interesting. Facinating, even. And I’m still not moving to Moveable Type, damnit. I like my system 🙂
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KPMG Over Content
KPMG, reports Simon have a horribly designed website that breaks in Mozilla (Which I can’t run at the moment. Apparently “The procedure entry point GlobalLock could not be located in the dynamic link library KERNAL32.DLL”, which I’m getting every time I try to start a new program Love Win2k, Love Win2k…). KPMG, I thought, the name sounds familier, so I searched my MP3 list, and low and behold…
I remembered KPMG’s Corperate Anthem, plus Jungle Mix of same, entered blogspace last year for a few days before being shut-down due to bandwidth problems. It’s back, go see. Download. Be scared.
Now, time to google for that error. No, scrub that. Time to reboot my computer, which fixes the problem, and then google for the error…
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Anything on the Net
Truth that you can find anything in blogland, whilst looking at a “recently updated” list on blo.gs, I was intrigued to find the Diary of a porn publisher. (Warning, you probably don’t want to go there on a uni connection. Or a work connection. Or any kind of connection that is monitored, in fact).
Faintly disturbing, but interesting too…
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Painitude
(Note: “Does Pratchett Miss The Point” was an epic thread, spanning Alt.fan.pratchett and alt.books.tolkien. It was dull. It was boring, and a little while later, somone posted…)
On Wed, 24 Jul 2002 14:19:55 +0200, "Jens Murer"
wrote:
>So, can anybody tell me in a simple, not more than 50 words post:
Yes.
>DOES Pratchett miss the point?
Depends.
Define "Point".
- The Tip (Normally Sharp) Of An Item.
- No, Terry doesn't miss the point. Even he, at some point in his
life, will probably have cut himself on some sharp object.
(Aha, funny answer)
If you define the point as "TOLKI3N I5 A G3NIUS! Y0U MUST NOT EVEN
SUGGEST O7HERW1SE!!!!!!!!!!", then, yes, Terry misses your point, I
think. They defeat the Evil Overlord by throwing his jewelry into a
volcano. This Does Not Work In Real Life. Witness:
*ring*
*pickup*
Voice: "D'ya feel the painitude?"
OBL: "Wha?"[1]
Voice: "This is George W Bush of the United Stateizens Of America,
Mr Bin Lay-den, and I'm just phoning you to ask you if
you feel the pain right now?
OBL: "How did you find my number?"
GWB: "Yellow Pages"
OBL: "Damnation. I knew I should have gone ex-directory. What is
this 'Pain' thing, anyway?"
GWB: "Don't you feel it? Don't you feel your power, your absolute
and total power over your armies dwindling, shinking, your
massed warriors becoming useless to you? Your power, the thing
that makes you yourself, fading slowly away?"
OBL: "No. Should I?"
GWB: "You can't foolize me. We found your ring"
OBL: "What ring?"
GWB: "The ring you left in the cave"
OBL: "What did it look like?"
GWB: "About normal size. It's quite a plain ring really. It had a
pattern of a cloverleaf on it."
OBL: "Did it have writing on the inside"
GWB: "I don't know. We destroyedified it."
OBL: "YOU BASTARD! I MADE THAT IN METALWORK!"
GWB: "Yes! We have destroyed the source of all your power! The ring
you forgified yourself in the mountains of Doom!"
OBL: "How did you know I went to Doom Comprehensive?"
GWB: "We have your school records. Never did very well at RE, did
you? Now can you feel your power fading?"
OBL: "No, you 'merican scum. I shall destroy you!"
GWB: "Look, you evil person, you should have faded to a shadow of
your former self by now."
OBL: "You stupid, badly phrased, moron."
GWB: "I know you are, you said you are, so what am I?"
And we leave the call there, for there are some waters too deep to
wade.
Oh, the other possibility? I can't remember what it is now. Sorry.
[1] Reactions translated to protect the understanding.
Categories
Getting To Con Sessions
Message-ID:
From: Aquarion
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: Re: [F] DWCon - Convention Update
Date: Sat, 20 Jul 2002 15:45:22 +0100
On Fri, 19 Jul 2002 21:07:01 GMT, junk@bleurgh.net (MP) wrote:
>On 19 Jul 2002 13:34:24 -0700, info@dwcon.org (Discworld Convention
>2002) wrote:
>
>
>
>I have a query: is it normal to want to attend every single session at
>the Con? I mean, every single one?
>If so, how do you do it? I haven't enough time to clone me several
>times...
There is a saying. It goes as follows:
"So many responses, so little time"
So, we have cutlery on the moterway, three possible directions.
Number One: The Harry Potter Reference.
Number Two: The Dr Who Reference.
Number Three: The one where I might actually have to work on a post.
*tosses coin*
*coin remains at apex of throw, spinning rapidly*
So, Heads for option one. Tails for option two, and anything else for
option three. (heh heh heh, this should be quick).
*coin begins to dramatically tumble to earth. it lands on the soft
ground.*
Heads!
*it bounces*
Tails!
*it turns into a small bowl of custard, accompanied with a very small
piece of rubarb crumble*
Bugger.
Okay, it's very simple.
As you enter the convention, to your left will be a person in a hat,
it is vitally important that you turn right, and walk into the first
event, then out, and right again into event two, at this junction take
the northeast exit to the event sign posted Woolpit, and then west
onto the hall of worlds, then right again to get onto the A25, from
then the room with the third event will be on your right, the forth on
your left when you take the fifth exit from the third room of the
third panel. Then enter the blue police box, and ask nicely to be
taken to a cafe where they serve nice tea, where you will meet a man
with a birdcage over his second head who will give you the telephone
number of an Islington flat where you will encounter an angel who will
give you a small ebony statue of the beast of London, and point you to
an exit where you will find yourself inside the next session. Take the
right exit from there to find yourself on the Watzaup Dock where you
can catch a barge up the slow river. In the saloon of the barge you
will find the next session, but be sure to leave early so you can play
the game of dice-dominos with the man from manchester who is in the
cabin. When the boat stops, you will find yourself on a landing place
inlaid alternately with hickory wood and wood from the d'cory tree
which doesn't grow on these shores. Proceed up the Hickory/D'Cory dock
until you see a rodent enter the chronometer, where you will find a
woman with a rabbit tattooed on her shoulder who will present you to
the next session. Keep following her until you reach the tunnel, then
drink the potion on the table (Taking the key first!) until you can
enter the door in the far wall. In the room beyond will the next
session, which you can attend. When you exit that room, find the
sandy-haired man with the big sword and the red-headed wife, and
follow them to the next session. Another left, another trip through
the hall of worlds (take the second door) kiss the blonde girl, but be
sure not to let her stab you with the pointy stick, and run north
until you get to the library where the next session is. Talk to the
red-head about riding people like ponys, and she will cast a spell
transferring you to another dimension. Again, beware of the pointy
sticks, but also note that you can dehydrate from excessive drooling
at the alternative version of the redhead. A swirling portal near the
nightclub will take you back to the convention carpark, where the next
session is, and then a man with long blonde hair in what appears to be
an inflatable time machine will take you back to your original
co-ordinates, and give you a hat.
Walk into the convention, turn left, and put on the hat. Wait for a
few minutes until you're sure you've already gone past, then spend the
next weekend trying to remember which sessions you attended already,
and then attend the ones you didn't.
The only mandatory one is the speculation panel.
Yours in total sincerity,
Aquarion "Spot the reference" De'blue
(Answers at http://www.aquarionics.com/afp/str.html)