a) Go to land you don’t own.

b) Find an egg

c) Steal it

d) Get away.

How to cook a poached egg, or two:

No timers, just a sequence.

a) Add a small amount of water (about an inch) into the bottom of a moderate size saucepan, and start heating it.

b) Boil a kettle of water.

c) In theory, the kettle should finish boiling at about the time the stuff in the pan starts.

d) (Optional) Make tea/coffee with some of the kettle of water.

e) Add the rest of the boiling water to the saucepan.

f) (If you have vinegar – balsamic for preference – add a dash of that to the boiling water. It’ll make stuff easier later on)

g) Crack two eggs into the water, from as low a height as you can muster.

h) Put toast in the toaster, and start it.

i) When the toast pops up, remove the eggs from the water with a slotted spoon (Large spoon with holes in it) and onto a chopping board to dry a bit.

j) (Optional) Pour the tea

k) (Optional) butter the toast

l) Arrange the toast on top of a plate, and the eggs on top of the toast.

m) Enjoy.

This produces – for me – beautiful soft boiled poached eggs. To boil them harder, swap around g & h, add d between g & h, and/or do j & k and bits of l before you remove the eggs from the boiling water. There’s no real need to hurry any of this.

From a cookery/brain standpoint, I find that recipes without timers that are just sequences are a lot less stressful than attempting to make inexperienced/anxious cooks stay under a buzzer.