Imported From Epistula social

Covered in Bs

Okay, another day, another failed update. I spent most of Thursday slightly hung-over, after a number of things beginning with Bs, among them Bavarian Beer, Becks, Bagels and… er… Oh, Birthdays.

We – that is Hotxt – wandered out to celebrate the birthday and forthcoming absence of Calum pplparty Brannan. I discovered the wonder that is a Stein (‘It comes in liters! I’m getting one.” or, in the end, three. Or so. I kind of lost count.) They kicked us out of the Bavarian Beer House when it closed, and we kind of meandered around london a bit, failing to get into a club because one of us was underage, reaching an astounding number of bars just as they closed, and eventually getting into a club somewhere probably near Oxford Square (…I worked out later, at the time I had no idea), drank a couple of bottles of Becks. By this point there were four of us, two went to go dance, and James – who I was with – decided he wanted Bagels. So we went.

Bagel shop, Taxi ride, Nightbus, Home. 3am.

Which is why I staggered into work yesterday morning (Almost on time, FCVO on time) with twenty bagels purchased last night and dumped in my fridge so I could bring them in.

Other people come home from nights on the lash with traffic cones, sign posts, members of the appropriate (or not) sex.

Me? Bagels.

Computer Games Imported From Epistula


“That didn’t take long, did it?”

“Probably not. What didn’t, who are you, why?”

“The ‘Daily Update’ thing, Guilt complex, lack of better ideas”

“Oh. Right. Failing to update yesterday I can explain.”

“Go ahead”



“Someone lent me Zelda:Twilight Princess for Wii.”

“And you got distracted by it?”

“For many hours, yes. A lot of the time I spent fishing.”


“One of the things you do in the game, and have to do, in fact, is fish (In order to catch the cat to please the shop owner to sell you the slingshot. This is having thrown the hawk at the monkey to get the cradle to give to the mother to get the fishing stick”



“That’s… pretty complex”

“Yeah, but it does actually make sense in context. I’m crap at the fishing. I spent ages absolutely failing to do it, and getting more and more bored of the entire concept. Then I found a guide online which told me what to do, after which it became easier.

After I finished that quest sequence I was going to put it down, but then the plot kicked off – somewhat spectacularly – and instead of putting it down I continued for a little while longer.”

“Little while?”

“Three or so hours. Since I have a leaving party to go to tonight, there’s a high chance I’m not going to be able to continue until Thursday, which actually annoys me.”

“Computer game addiction is neither good nor healthy”

“But better than cigarettes and alcohol”

“Cigarettes at least have a slimming effect, apparently. Also, you’re skipping out on the computer game to go drink alcohol, I point out.”

2000 2007 Imported From Epistula


This is journal ID 1900. I mean 19100. I mean 2000.

Bet you never thought you’d see those jokes again, did you?


aqcom Imported From Epistula


Okay. Comments now work again. Sorry about that…

computing Imported From Epistula windows


“And this, this is just cheating.”

“It’s a valid critical form, and it seemed to go down well.”

“Pah. It got needlessly self-indulgent towards the end. The punctuation stuff? Far too self-referential. Avoid it in future.”

“I should avoid talking about the form within the form?”

“Indeed you should.”

“Bit late, then.”

“Somewhat. Today, incidentally, I am not your guilt complex.”

“Oh, good. He was annoying. Who are you?”

“Nonspecific, though I am the part of you which is constantly typing @-signs instead of quote marks, because you’ve been using Mac keyboards too long”

“Can’t I just fix the keyboard layout?”

“And avoid wearing out your backspace key? Silly, twisted boy.”

“That’s two Goon Show references in as many entries. Someone will complain.”

“I’m sure they’ll never notice.”

“So, what are we here to discuss?”



Today I installed Windows. I do this quite often, because I run a Teflon windows install. All important stuff is on the server, MyDocs in Windows is aliased over there, so effectively I can wipe clean XP when it reaches the end of its half-life, which is between one and six months. This one was brought about because the central hard-drive in my desktop was beginning to error out (To the point where Ubuntu wouldn’t even read from it, though windows still booted) and I decided to upgrade to SATA. As I type hundreds of gigabytes of games installs are copying across, but that’s not the annoying bit.

For the first time in quite a while, I’m running an entirely honest and legitamite copy of Windows XP. My first ever copy came from an MSDN disc, but I lost the code to a while ago, and since then have been using a key I can no longer remember the origin of. Having now lost that key too (It was on a floppy disc) and since I actually have a job and do use Windows (My desktop is mostly for Internet, games, coding and Paint Shop Pro. Games and PSP require Windows (WineX has some problems with some of the games I play) and the other two I use open source software, albeit on Windows. I don’t currently have a Linux install on the desktop (though Debian’s on my server), because – as I said – it won’t read my disk). So I bought a copy of Windows XP Pro.

Breezed though the install. Entered my Product Key to prove I am not a pirate, for I am no longer a pirate. Waited a bit. Was told I had to Activate Windows within 30 days, and that my clock’s date was wrong. Tried to activate Windows, Couldn’t contact server. Fixed clock. Installed stuff. Reboot. Now it was 30 days later (fixed date, remember), I couldn’t log in unless I activated Windows. This time it connected, and Windows was Activated (until I change my hardware) to prove I am not a pirate, for I am not a pirate (Pirates don’t have to activate Windows). Right, next, patches. Automatic update, update automatic update, reboot. Automatic update, install updates. Windows Genuine Advantage. Woo. I install Windows Genuine Advantage, which examines my system and concludes that I am not a pirate, for I am not a pirate. Takes me though a wizard of how wonderful it is not to be a pirate. Apparently, as a proven not-pirate, I am entitled to download the Karaoke Plugin for Windows Media Player! I am such a lucky boy.

Friends do not let friends do Karaoke.

This was all so much easier when I was a pirate.

The same goes for movies, games, music. While it is technologically easier to download a DVD from Bittorrent via The Pirate Bay, that’s what people will do. That’s why the iTunes music store is so sucessful, because it _is_ easier than buying a CD, you’re already in your music player, you don’t even have to shift contexts. And I have more to say on this subject, but Windows won’t shut the hell up about having to reboot my computer now.

aqcom Imported From Epistula Personal


“You should post to your blog”


“Oh. Sorry. ‘Hi, I’m your inner guilt complex, you should post to AqCom more often’”

“Does that mean you wear a gold lame suit”.

“That’s a) Lamé, and b) Gilt. Not guilt. There is no point in attempting to joke at me, I’m you. I already know the punchlines.”

“If you think people already knowing the punchlines is a reason not to make the joke, you’re patently not me, I assure you”

“Okay. Anyway. You used to have people read this thing, and now you don’t. Do you know why that is?”

“I blame the over-inflated house market.”

“What’s that got to do with it?”

“Not sure, but it’s easier than accepting that it’s because I stopped posting articles that weren’t, for example, sub-socratic dialogues about my inability to update. Also, the fact that the most popular article on the site is the four-year-old driving failure one occasionally gets me down”

“So write more stuff.”

“About what? The new job. ‘Today I did some work on [redacted], hacking [redacted] and [redacted] to accept authorizations from [redacted] and learning the details of the Prototype library. Golly, something got though.”

“Okay, yes. What about technical stuff in your spare time?”

“City of Heroes”


“I don’t do coding outside work anymore. I play City of Heroes instead”.

“Oh. Well. At least it’s better than Warcraft”.

“Yeah, that too.”

“You are a pathetic loser, you realize that?”

“Yes. And, unlike the rest of the world, I am quite able to do this without exposing it to the rest of the world in daily updates.”

“Okay. Point. How about amusing anecdotes about commuting in London”.

“I have yet to gain the ability to set people on fire with the power of my mind.”


“It’s the only reason the people who ARE UNABLE TO USE THE DAMNED ESCALATOR still exist.”

“How can you fail to use an escalator?”

“It, apparently, involves not knowing that once you get to the top you have to, you know, get off the escalator. And not, as an entirely non-random example, start walking backwards. Possibly to Christmas.”

“See? That could become an amusing anecdote”.

“Commuting in London is spending one twenty-forth of the week with your nose entirely too close to the armpit of an overpaid stockbroker.”

“Not your kink?”

“Not, as you say, my kink.”

“Did you know that this is entry ID 1997?”

“Yes. You’re me, remember. And yes, I know that means it’s the entry that reminds me it’s ten years since I started fucking around with HTML, and where has that got me?”

“Lots of little HTML, crossbred with Aquarions?”

“Thanks for that.”

“No charge”.

“Hang on, which one am I again?”

“I’m the guilt complex. My full-stops go outside the quote marks”.

“Stop doing that, it’s annoying in dialogue form.”

“No. I’m your inner guilt complex, not your inner Chicago style guide”.

“Yes, I do feel guilty about not updating the diary more. Every so often I deal with this guilt by resolving to blog more. Then I realize that I don’t, currently, have anything interesting to say, so I don’t say anything. Apart from Cheese Sandwiching. Incidentally, I’m now the top google match for Cheese Sandwiching, or a reference to me is. This is not a good thing.”

“Hows your match on Frowny Lightbulbs?”

“Still high. How come your question marks go inside the quotation marks?”

“I don’t know. Because they look silly the other way”?

“Good point, well made.”

“You could make a resolution to make at least one entry every day until April.”

“Seems unlikely, doesn’t it?”

“It does. But do it anyway, it’ll make me feel better.”

“And that is, after all, the important thing. Your full stops have changed again.”

“Guilt complex, not consistency, otherwise you’d still feel guilty for everything.”


”… Oh, yes. Right. Well, then. Update more.”

“Thanks. You have no idea how helpful you’ve been.”

aqcom epistula Imported From Epistula


Bored of spam now. Hacked on Epistula a bit. Policy change.

Journal Entries (Distinct from Articles) more than 90 days old now cannot have comments added to them.

(This means I now have the ability to turn off comments on arbitrary articles also. Considering this for certain articles)

Apple Imported From Epistula


The latest OS X Tiger update appears to have bricked my friend’s final generation PPC Powerbook (Won’t boot, hangs in grey on white apple screen forever), so you might want to not install it for a couple of days.

Imported From Epistula Movies

Pulp Fiction in typography

Imported From Epistula music weblog

The Bathroom Sessions

Okay, so you’re a member of the Barenaked Ladies, one of my favourite bands, and you have had a new bathroom installed. The acoustics are quite good. Do you:

  • Smile. It is a Job Well Done.
  • Laugh, and plan to take many showers to sing along in.