‘Mr Winvoe?’ he said, after whistling into it. ‘Ah. Good. Tell me, how much do we have in our vaults at the moment? Oh, approximately. To the nearest million, say.’ He held the tube away from his ear for a moment, and then spoke into it again. ‘Well, be a good chap and check anyway, will you?’

He hung up the tube and placed his hands flat on the desk in front of him.


‘Yes, Mr Winvoe? Really? Indeed? I myself have frequently found loose change under sofa cushions, it’s amazing how it mou … No, no, I wasn’t being … Yes, I did have some reason to … No, no blame attaches to you in any … No, I could hardly see how it … Yes, go and have a rest, what a good idea. Thank you.’

[Terry Pratchett, Hogfather]