Avast, landlubbers, for today be Talk like a pirate day, where rules be made that pirates always speaks in the present tense, says “Avast” lots, and refers to any females in the vacinity as “Wench”.
Then ducks. Quickly.
All punishments must be refered to as ‘Keelhauling’, money is ‘Booty’ etc.
Normal service will be resumed soon. Ish.