41 Punchlines
(Via Little Red Boat)
- And for my third wish, I wished that my head was a tangerine.
- a Wonkey.
- The cigarette Machine’s out of order.
- Oh, shit, I’ve just run over a nun.
- Ding DONG, Damnit, ding DONG!
- “I wath thick!”
- To get to the other side.
- Ouch.
- “Well, whose arms are these then?”
- A stick.
- Come Dancing.
- “Alright, this time youhold the pigeon down, and I’ll shit on its head!…”
- It’s driving me Nuts.
- The guy in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.
- I’m sorry, we don’t serve food.
- “I didn’t say she had ‘dental inadequaucies, I said she was Fucking Goofy“
- You see that nurse over there? I’ve shagged her.
- And the monster says “Tag! You’re it!”
- What would I need with a prince? You can make a lot of money out of a talking frog.
- Well, darling, you know where the matches are…
- Just the one, but it will take a long time, and the bulb has to really want to change.
- To keep her ankles warm.
- Two, but how the hell did they get in there?
- Its arse.
- So the barman gave her one.
- “You think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?”
- “In that case, Have you got any duck food?”
- Don’t mess with that guy, he’s fuckin’ menthol.
- One.
- “Pardon me, God, But he was wearing a hat”
- That’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.
- No, I’m a knot.
- “Well, you can come in, but don’t start anything.
- “It’s the way you tell’em…”
- Both of them are small and round and purple apart from the tractor.
- “Pardon me Al? Is this the Cat that chewed your new shoes?”
- Is it Ray Charles?
- You come in here, giving it all that…
- Marmaduke stew
- “No, darling, you can flush like everyone else…”
- A baby in a microwave.